The Feels. And a little progress.

My daughter is driving on her own for the first time today. I am full of feels so I wrote this poem to try to channel them. I used to write poetry a lot, but it’s been a long time and it’s not very good, but it’s helping a little. I thought I’d share here since I am trying to keep my cool on my facebook wall. LOL

Fly little Bird

We’ve practiced for this moment 
You’ve grown and matured.
You watch and learn, you question.
Today you are ready to go.
By yourself. Alone into the world.
We’ve taught you well.
You are prepared.

But am I?
Am I ready to watch you drive away?
Without me by your side.
Guiding you, encouraging you.
Look at you go, my beautiful babe, my girl.
So strong, so capable.
My bird. She flies.

bootnest
Had to add some levity, because THE FEELS.
On a different note, I am making real progress on getting queries out. I sent an easy one the other day. Query+first 10 pages. Just for grins and giggles. Now that the first 10 chapters are prepped I just need to start sending them out. So that is what I will be doing for the next week. I plan to send 10 out, I think. Then I’ll wait, building the next list of agents to query and in a August I will send out more.
I’m hoping that by doing it in waves like this it won’t be too overwhelming for me.
query-letter31
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Accomplishments and Expectations.

The other day I had a casual friend ask me if I’d sold any books. I giggled, and responded that I haven’t even sent my query letters out for representation yet. “Oh,” he said. “So, you haven’t really accomplished anything.” He wasn’t being mean or snarky, but he does have a different idea of accomplishment then I do.

When he said that I about fell down and roared with laughter. Instead, I laughed softly and said. “I wrote a book, dude. That’s a huge accomplishment.” And it is. I’ve written my book and it’s gone through edits and revisions. I’ve learned how to write a query letter, and a synopsis. These are not easy things! So each step is an accomplishment. Especially when you deal with Fibromyalgia and assorted autoimmune diseases, each one messes with cognitive function and makes things harder than they should be. It takes me much longer then it ever used to, to get things done. But that is ok. I do eventually do it.

So, accomplishments. I have them and they make me happy, I am well on my way towards my next accomplishment. That will be sending out my first flurry of agent queries. I’m on pace to reach my goal of getting them out by the end of the month.

That brings me to expectations. When people find out you’ve written a book and hope to publish, they have the expectation that it goes pretty quickly. If you’re a writer you know the process takes years. My expectations are fairly modest. I expect myself to accomplish the goals that I set. Period. One at a time. And I have been doing that and it pleases me.

It’s harder to explain that to people who aren’t familiar with how I work. And don’t know how the process works. Expectations are the way to disappointment. I don’t expect everyone to love my book. I don’t expect to find an agent right away. I do however, expect to send out a LOT of queries. I hope, that an agent will love it enough to want to represent it. The best thing we can do for ourselves is ignore other people expectations. Focus on our goals and be proud when we accomplish them.

victory

 

 

#slacker

Not gonna lie, I’ve been a bit of a slacker the last few weeks. My brain took a much needed,  but frankly unwanted, vacation from the world of synopsis writing. But now it is time to get back to it. I feel like my synopsis is as good as it is going to be, at least until I get some responses from agents asking me what I am trying to do, and hopefully pointing out my errors. 😀

I love this picture by The Oatmeal. It pretty much encapsulates my last three weeks.

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So, over the next week I am going to tidy up my first 10 chapters, practice formatting and then, start sending out the queries. I need to focus on my agent list, it tells me clearly which agent wants what, so that will help me send out everything I need to in a timely manner. As long as I FOCUS. Ugh. I have been having a tough time with that recently. My brain is everywhere, except where it needs to be.

My health issues are mostly to blame for the lack of focus, and I usually am pretty good at riding it out. But it can be very frustrating, especially when there are things I really want to get done. Like my queries! I have learned though, that it is better to wait, because I make stupid mistakes if I try to rush it. It’s difficult to accept sometimes, but I am learning.

So I am starting to feel better, my brain is getting less foggy. Now, I have my goal of prepping my queries+synopsis+chapters for sending by next weekend. 😀